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Neelam Dhaka - GM-HR, Rico Auto, Gurugram


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Do you also feel agitated, angry and irritated? Are you also feeling sad and revengeful and wondering why? Do we share something in common?

Do you also feel agitated, angry and irritated? Are you also feeling sad and revengeful and wondering why? Do we share something in common?

I think I can certainly relate to what they must have gone though. When we work hard to achieve something, almost reach there and then unexpectedly meet a huge resistance from a cartel of capable people (thorough money or position...not necessarily talent) who you always admired from distance and believed that they will value talent and will help joined by few looser chamchas with no morale, esteem or desire but good in numbers to please people and power position and stand against you. People whom we were counting on or expecting to mentor us are now behaving diplomatically.

When we feel that we deserve and life should be fair, elders/ seniors who had been our role model should reciprocate with same compassion exactly at that point the truth reveals. That life is not a fair game. Its not east to break this ceiling and go to next level. It is very natural to give up and also wonder is all the effort and hard work worth it? The focus shifts from work and success to fairness and values. And then when we start to loose the ground.

I understand that at this juncture, only those who have company, family and friends sail through and others drown. Not only that, it is said that you are an average of 5 people you spend most of the time with. So, we should also constantly check who are in my company. Slackers, pessimist, and fighter or am I a loner?

Do I have a choice to seek / change my company? Can I draw inspirations from someone? For death it has to come one day so why hurry should we not explore all angles / see all ups and downs / fall and rise with all new challenges and become meaningful in some way before giving up life. Can I re-purpose my life become useful for someone else, in some other field??

One thing I know for sure that everyone has to fight their own battle. People may support as friends, guides, coaches, counsellors, family etc. some may even support with money but at the end its your own life. You have to take responsibility of it and fight.

Right to live with dignity, right to die with dignity. is acknowledged by law too but bringing it in my life is my responsibility. Rights are not entitlements. It would be very nice if this happens but in real world, as of now it is a not even a distant dream.

So, can I define dignity for myself? Can I stop looking for external validations? Am I not insulting myself when I compare self with a person of more power but nowhere close to my values and conduct?

IT IS OK to sulk. IT IS OK to feel that why I am not there but am I not fortunate then many more? How can I let these people win who want me to fail? If they are bad to me then who am I to myself if I give up?

People at power position make cartels because of fear of losing or securing position; because they dont want to work hard anymore. But am I not doing the same if I give up? Give up because of fear of losing and not putting in more efforts. What will they lose if you die or get out of their way, this is exactly what they want, rather please them and at least live.

Where are we going wrong? Are we confusing our drive for purpose with blindly chasing a materialistic dream in the name of passion? Is chasing a particular dream and making parents proud the only essence of life? Is it just not possible to live without unfilled desires and dreams?

What about self-growth. Do I even think of checking that am I growing as person (EQ) or only as a professional (IQ).

I am no authority on this subject rather as confused and emotional as you all are but one thing I know for sure life is a game and any game has its rule to be played by the rules.

In professional world, be it Film Industry, NGO, Govt. or Corporate, there are cartels and it needs power to break the power and power is rarely given, often taken. It requires

  • Courage and passion to take power.
  • Do uncomfortable things, sticking the neck out,
  • Networking, creating your own niche.
  • Strategic planning, relationships and stakeholder management
  • Diplomacy and strategic thinking

Not everyone is willing to invest so much. Therefore, it is always not with the most deserving person. Virtuous dont always win and organisations are not paragon of meritocracy. It takes power to get things done. Without power you are impotent irrespective of talent and righteousness of your cause, said Jeffrey Pfeffer.

Find your ways to gain power, explore all sources of power, internal and external, both. Start with BIGGEST POWER PATIENCE. Like the lion, wait patiently for the right moment before the final move.

Never give up! & remember death will come anyway even if you dont want. So dont make extra efforts for what is bound to happen. Invest energy in making things happen your way!